Wired For Light

"Why are you so happy?" He asked me.

I was thrown by the intimacy of his question. He rang up my coffee and handed me my change. I shrugged. "It's a beautiful world," I said with a smile. He laughed. "It is with people like you," he told me. He gave me my coffee. We said our goodbyes.

As I started my walk home, I thought, how easy to choose happiness. How easy to choose love over hate, joy over sorrow, light over darkness. What a great struggle it is to be miserable, to carry around the heavy weight of sadness. Why would I ever allow myself to bear such a burden? Why have I been so quick to do so in the past? Why am I just now learning, at twenty-three, how to let go, how to set myself free?

I think about what lies within me, about my head so full of questions, about my heart so full of answers. I think about the way I am learning to listen to both. I think about my ears which I use to listen. I think about my feet which I use to step into adventures. I think about my eyes which I use to see all of the beauty around me. I think about my tongue which I use to taste the delicious sweetness of life. I think about my hands which I use to hold the magical treasures of the universe. I think about my fingers which I use to record it all. I think about the way I am wired for light - to be light, to feel light, to spread light. I think about this stranger's question, "why are you so happy?"

Because it is so easy. Because we live in this increasingly hopeful, possibility filled world. Because every day, in small and big ways, I am reminded of what it means to be alive, to be grateful for life, to be in awe of existence itself. Because those reminders fill me with happiness, with love, and with light. Because I let those feelings soak into the thirsty well of my spirit. Because I have made the choice to make of my life something spectacular.

I remember sitting against the pillar across from him, watching as his eyes moved intently around the pages of his newspaper. His legs were crossed, his back straight, like a statue of Buddha, like my students at circle time as they listen closely to my small offerings of truth. He laughed. The sound filled the grand abandoned train station, echoing against the lonely tracks, filling us both with light. I remember thinking, how easy to fall in love. How easy to let my heart break open and spill out it's irresistible delight. How easy to refill it with wonder.

Today I sit and watch the thunderstorm outside. My kitten sits on the windowsill and joins me, following with his little paws the raindrops as they slide down the glass. His eyes widen as it thunders. He mews at the quickening lightening. We learn together, what it means to pay attention. We learn together, our own means of prayer. We learn together, how to express our gratitude for this rain, for this world, for this life.

I learn how to echo these divine flashes of light.