The trouble with me is that
I keep looking for happiness in familiar places
Only to discover that they’ve become unfamiliar,
Uncomfortable,
Like shoes I’ve outgrown but still try to force upon my feet,
Only to discover that they no longer bring me joy,
Just blisters
And pain.
I don’t fit anymore.
Into my former shoes,
Or life,
Or ways of thinking.
The change in me is palpable
Juxtaposed against the stagnancy
Of my every day life.
How did Alice return home after Wonderland?
How did she fill the void of the magic lost?
I’d really like to ask her
How it felt the next day
To walk by flowers that didn’t speak
And see cats that didn’t smile
And know that her un-birthday would pass without celebration.
I’d really like to ask her
If she spent the rest of her days searching
For another rabbit hole,
If she longed in every moment
For another escape.
6 comments:
This happens to a lot of travellers when they come home from a life changing journey. There is only one way to move on - find new shoes that fit.
Your soul is outgrowing your life, dear friend; after some angst, your life will grow a bit and catch up!
You give me such hope for life!
alan
I have no doubt that you will find what you are meant for and you will find new shoes to put on that make you happy.
I will be home mid July...but I think the only place in PA Panic is playing is in Pittsburgh...but I will absolutely go with you if you are going!!
I can SO relate to this feeling. I know exactly what you mean by feeling out of place in what is meant to be so familiar. Maybe it's a sign of a bigger change to come, a chance to explore this new version of yourself. I've struggled everytime came home to not fall back into those old patterns just because I was "meant" to and now I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin, being the me I have always wanted- at least on most days!!
I hope you can find a way to forge a new path- maybe you can go traveling again!!
Wow, Fran that's awesome. I'm not usually a big fan of poetry, but this is really good. When I get home I'm gonna print it out! Love ya!
Frankie, I'm just catching up with your return posts and this one makes me think of some words Joseph Campbell wrote about the hero's journey. I'll look them up and send them to you.
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