Everyday Is A Winding Road

Life is crazy. I don’t mean for that to sound like any great revelation or original idea. It just needs to be said sometimes. Life is a never ending roller coaster of uncertainty and insanity, and just when you think you’ve got the structure of it all figured out, it curves and sends you reeling into the unexpected. In an instant, everything can change.

In my boredom tonight I was searching through blogs. First of the people I know, and then strangely, through some I didn’t know. I just kept hitting that "next blog" button, as my computer screen displayed the thoughts of one after another stranger. There was something so intriguing and almost beautiful about it. One woman spoke of her troubles with infertility and her fears of never having a baby. A man posted pictures of his twin boys at their first amusement park. One 33 year old woman, I kid you not, writes entirely about star trek enterprise episodes. What a funny world we live in.

I’m currently watching the Saturday Night Live special on NBC about the first five years. As old black and white pictures of the cast members smoking and dancing together parade across the screen in that formulaic documentary way, I’m wondering if the average person remembers their life in such a way. Yes, it’s somewhat fake intensity and sentimentality created by artistic photos and sappy background music, but maybe life is like that. Maybe it’s just as intense and sentimental as we want it to be, we create it to be. Maybe we’ll look back at our lives as a series of photographs as we play a sappy song in the back of our minds.

I started thinking about us. Ten years from now will I be reading about your children on your blogs? Will we still say hey every once and a while on AIM and through emails? It’s strange to have friends in my life that were on the exact same track as me not so long ago suddenly be somewhere so completely different in their lives. I mean, we’re all different. I wasn’t expecting us to stay the same or even to move in the same direction, but I suppose I hadn’t really realized just how many directions there were to move in. Anything can happen, and what we expect our blogs and lives to look like ten years from now will most likely be nothing like the reality. In the words of Gilda Radner, "Mmm delicious ambiguity."

That’s what life is, deliciously ambiguous, and I am endlessly anxious and thrilled by the uncertainty of it all. The future is filled with such limitless possibilities, and I’m excited to think of how I’ll look back on my life, what pictures I’ll choose to display, what sappy song I’ll play in the background, what I’ll remember about the girl I used to be.