Mmm I Wanna Linger, Mmm A Little Longer

I take back what I had said about the rain. Last night was the kind of downpour I adore. I love that moment when the heat seems to break and a shower falls down upon us. Having the natural luck I do, I left the office at the exact moment it all began, finding myself drenched by the time I reached my car door. Granted, I lingered on the way.

Sometimes I wish there was more lingering to life. Wouldn't it be lovely to just spend some time each day sauntering to and fro, pondering the big questions and little wonders of life with equal intensity. Everything is so rushed. We run from one thing to another as though life is one huge race, and if we stop for even a moment, we'll fall hopelessly behind. I think Americans especially spend far too much time worrying about, well, time. We love to boast about how busy and stressed we are, as though it will somehow prove our importance, prove our value.

This is of course subjective, but I think some of the best thinkers of all time have been people who have lingered, people who have taken the time to just sit back and simply think and reflect. Maybe it's my lethargic nature to see the beauty in sitting around and doing nothing, but I really do think it's there. Time moves fast enough as it is. Is it really necessary to sprint through life?

I'm in a weird mood. I'm at work with little to do and my mind seems to be on vacation. I leave for Bonnaroo tomorrow where I'll be until Monday. I'm SO excited. Both to go, and to have a break from work. This will be the longest I've been away from the office ever. I've missed two days in the entire year I've been working here (and have more than made up for it in all the extra weekends I've come in). I guess that's why I'm suddenly so aware of time. I've been here for the majority of the past 365 days. It would be perfectly reasonable if this were my career, or even the prospect of my career, but it isn't. I'm twenty years old. I'm not interested in doing this for a living. Somehow I got sucked into the working world, the world of adults, a world I've rebelled against for as long as I remember.

I used to try and live the kind of life I wished for myself, the kind of brilliant and exotic journey I think every life should be. I still wish for it, but I am no longer reaching for it the way I used to, the way I want to. Instead I sit here, gazing longingly out the window, wishing I was outside lingering through the day.